Last week James asked us to resolve to be kinder in 2026. This week we are talking about a special way of being kind: being a strong ally. We hear from our friend Pauline Bosma about ways you can be a strong ally.
What Makes a Strong Ally?
Pauline is part of the LGBTQ+ community and has IDD. She tells us that being an ally to both groups starts with listening. She says true allies respect what people say about themselves. They don’t try to change the person.
Another way to be an ally is to show support in public. Don’t just show support in private. Show it when other people are around. She says you should be willing to stand by the person even if other people might not like it.
Allies at Work
As a transgender person with IDD, Pauline has a lot of experience with allies. Her co-worker Oscar has shown allyship by always treating her as an equal. He supports her voice in professional spaces. He values her perspective. And he makes sure she is heard in important conversations. His support has helped her grow in her career. Pauline is seen as a leader.
Another ally, Pat Carney, helped Pauline start her Rainbow Groups. Pat believed in Pauline’s vision when others didn’t. Pat had worked in sexuality education for a long time. She saw the need for safe spaces for LGBTQ+ people with disabilities. When Pauline struggled to get the groups started, Pat was there to help. She gave encouragement. She offered guidance and resources. Her belief in Pauline helped turn an idea into a national movement.
Tips for Being a Strong Ally
Here are Pauline’s top tips for being a strong ally.
- Listen and learn: Listen to people with IDD who are LGBTQ+. Don’t assume you know what they need. Ask them.
- Take action: Support the rights of people who are treated unfairly because of who they are. Speak up when you see something wrong. Use your platform to amplify their voices.
- Respect boundaries: People have the right to decide what support they need. Don’t try to change or control someone’s identity. Offer support the way they want, not just what’s easy for you.
- Support inclusive spaces: Join and promote groups led by LGBTQ+ people with disabilities. Pauline’s Rainbow Groups are a great example.
Want to Learn More?
- Read our blog posts about supporting the LGBTQ+ community.
- Watch these videos on our YouTube channel about gender identity and disability.
- Build your self-advocacy skills with our free courses.
Being a strong ally starts with listening, respect, and action. In 2026 and beyond, let’s choose to be allies who lead with kindness.