The holidays can be stressful. Some families support a person with special needs. The season can be even harder for them. Changes in routine and loud, busy places bring extra challenges. Some caregivers do not get breaks, even when they are overwhelmed. We’re sharing real talk from three family caregivers. We also share simple ways everyone can help with supporting family caregivers this season.
Alisa’s Story
When my son was little, many things bothered him. Loud sounds, bright lights, strong smells, and the way clothes felt on his body made him upset. He could not use words to explain what was wrong. He yelled, threw things, and sometimes hurt himself or others. These rages lasted a long time and happened almost every day.
I was very tired and sad. I tried to get help from family and friends, but they were scared they couldn’t keep him safe. I had almost no time to rest. I could have used respite care. Respite care means someone else cares for your child for a short time so you can take a break. But respite care was hard to find back then.
Cindy’s Story
My son struggled with loud sounds and fast play when he was young. He wanted to join the fun with his cousins. But he could not calm himself down once he got overwhelmed. He would start playing too roughly.
Holiday gatherings were tough. When he hurt a cousin or upset the play, I felt sad and angry. I also felt ashamed because I knew he could not help it. At those moments, a simple kind word helped so much. I felt seen and supported when I heard “You are doing a great job!” or “This is hard, but it won’t always be this way.”
Kim’s Story
My husband, Jeff, and I have always loved the holidays. Three years ago, Jeff was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s. Now I am both his spouse and his caregiver. Jeff still loves to have fun, but large groups are hard for him. To help, I plan ahead to make sure Jeff knows what we are doing. At the holiday party, I watch for signs that he is anxious. I try to enjoy myself too. But I often feel tired from juggling so much.
It helps to be open about Jeff’s diagnosis. Our friends know what we are going through. They understand if we are late, need to cancel, or leave early. They do not judge us. They just enjoy being with us.
Supporting Family Caregivers This Holiday Season
There are simple things you can do to help family caregivers.
- Share kind words or send a heart-felt note. We all like to know we are doing a good job.
- Offer respite. Even a short break can mean a lot. You can sit with the person they care for while the caregiver rests. You can offer extra help at outings and events.
- Some families need professional respite care. You can help them search. Use the ARCH Respite Locator or contact your state’s IDD agency.
- Offer specific help. “How can I help?” is a hard question to answer sometimes. Offer to bring dinner, wrap gifts, or help clean the house before or after a family party.
Want to Learn More?
- Check out our Self Care for Caregivers playlist on YouTube.
- Read more about family caregivers on our blog.
When we help caregivers, we help the whole family. This holiday season, let’s offer help. Let’s make sure everyone feels seen and supported.